There are a fair few courses around on self help. One I have become aware of covers confidence, self esteem and shyness with the angle of how to overcome worrying what people think of you.

Does any one really worry what others think of us? Maybe yes, on very specific occasions, a job interview, impressing the boss for a pay rise or a first date, but not on a continual basis. Perhaps we were more susceptible to this feeling when younger, but today, no, I think we are all fairly confident. Or are we really? Maybe we think we are, at least on the surface, but, do we have deeper down feelings along these lines that go unnoticed? If so they can prevent us from taking advantage of opportunity.

The gentleman who has put this course together seems a highly confident person but admits to these issues in his past. We know ourselves how we felt in the past, but, have we overcome this worry or is there that residue still lurking within us?

Perhaps an awareness of these teachings can help us. The argument of these teachings puts our worry, not only of what others think of us but worries of life also, down to the fact that we do not see reality or that we misinterpret reality. What?

Of course reality is what we see, is it not? What we see is real, maybe even under the influence of intoxicating substances. We all see the same thing, do we not? How can we survive if this is not the case? What a mixed up bunch we must be if we see different things.

Well, we do not always see the correct version of reality, the actual what is, is. Our sensory inputs are taken and interpreted into our own version of reality, a version we believe to be real. This version may be the same as other people hold, or very different depending on our individual circumstance and perception at the time. Our minds can be fooled, overtly and covertly.

Some examples.

For those with analog watches have you noticed that if you look after a long period the second hand stays still for a couple of seconds or so? It must have stopped working. In that mind frame even the length of time is undeterminable for certain. But then it starts ticking along nicely. The watch was working. I was not, I had been optically deluded.

Has anyone seen this? The other night I walked out onto the balcony and instantly saw a cloud of about 2 degrees of arc, a hand span, disappear over roof tops at jet stream velocity. All other clouds of the same type and altitude were scudding along gracefully and slowly. Last night, and I am sure clouds have got it in for me, one cloud was receding fast to the north while all others scudded west. There had been no intoxicating substances, honest. Again, optically deluded, or it’s a Vietnam thing.

I know this is not normal natural cloud behaviour but an instant affect on the mind through changing environment, inside to outside. It is explainable by time of evening, refraction of light and varying colour tones of buildings giving a first sight apparent increase in cloud size. These are obvious illusions, false realities. My mind in its frame at the time was fooled, but I knew it.

This next is a less obvious reality issue. Let us take an ashtray, only for its versatility for this example. If it is on a table full of ash and I ask you what it is, you most likely will respond ashtray. In reality it is a moulded piece of material, whether glass, ceramic or hard plastic that is being used as an ashtray. Present it to someone else, clean and in a different environment, and their version of the object may be soap dish, saucer or a receptacle for coins until they have a fiver in their particular denomination.

For many things it is a misconception to state them as a definite use when in fact it is a certain object of varying use. So the way we see or believe is a similar misconception of our circumstance and environment with the mind feeding us from a habit of belief of common concepts. In a sense we think and believe over or around things rather than of them directly.

For the last reality check, how many times have you heard that it is impossible to………? Most probably it is just very hard. Is it really impossible for you to have a pay rise? It is not, although to keep to budget someone may have to have a pay drop. In reality little is impossible. For fun I will later give you a website of impossibilities. Can you add or argue against?

Now I have had my episodes of enlightenment I am prepared to advocate the principles and philosophy of the worry and reality concept. Realising reality will help in many life areas. For each circumstance that seems bad for you try to look at and analyse your first reaction to your sensory inputs objectively. The actual reality of what is going on could well be different from your first perception. It will take practice.

Perhaps the concept is simple but how often do we overlook simplicity, because of the over and around rather than of type of thinking? The concept puts forward a common sense that maybe is not so common after all.