Where Do You Want To Be?

Posted by Miz Helena

Author's web site: http://www.abundantworldpublications.com

Jul 2

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WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE?

Now that you have an honest portrayal of your current self, it is time to figure out where you want to eventually be. If you haven’t the faintest idea of what you want to aspire to, try having a look at the people who appear to have their lives together. What sort of lives do these people live? What is their outlook on life? How do they treat other people? It is easier to work and toil and fight for something when you know exactly what it is you’re working towards.

EMOTIONALLY

You can’t necessarily change your personality. It may pain you to be so shy, or maybe you can’t stand how blatantly abrupt you can be at times. You shouldn’t necessarily be looking to change the very core of your character, but instead should try to figure out how you can work with your particular personality. So instead of vowing to become a social butterfly when you have always been more of a wallflower, you might concentrate on how you might be social without overstepping your boundaries of comfort. The first step is to recognize your innate personality type and go from there.

There are techniques you can use to help you. There wouldn’t be hundreds of self-help books lining the shelves in stores if there weren’t many experts working feverishly to develop techniques to assist readers who need emotional help. Since not every technique works for every person, there are a myriad of options for you to explore, if you feel as though you may need to employ some sort of method to help you get your emotions under control. Some experts recommend calming exercises that involve deep breathing and visualization. Other experts sing the praises of journaling your feelings and writing down the dreams you have while you sleep. For every person looking to improve his or her emotional situation, there is an appropriate technique. The trick is to find the one that works best for you. You might have to go through many different methods before stumbling upon the one that is appropriate to your needs, but once you find it, be sure to wholeheartedly follow the system. If it works for you, then it may make a big difference in your emotional well-being, and may improve your life immensely. You can start by approaching people who appear to have their emotional life in check and find out if they use any special techniques or methods when they feel as though their emotions might be getting a little out of control.

Is it time to say goodbye? There is so much more to leaving a relationship than any one paragraph in a book can cover. It is never as easy as simply deciding that a relationship has run its course and it’s time to pack up and move on. No matter what the status of a relationship, two people have emotions invested into the situation. For some relationships, a time comes when one or both people realize that it is no longer a beneficial situation. The question as to whether to stay and work it out or to leave is riddled with so many factors. Is there a way to save the relationship? Do you even want to save it? You must also take into account all the situational issues involved. It is one thing to leave a significant other when the two of you have merely been dating for a couple of months, but it is another thing entirely to end a relationship that has lasted for years. Maybe a breakup will involve a division of financial assets, or even custody talks regarding the children. Obviously, the decision to break ties to another person is extremely complicated. The first step is to simplify the decision by figuring out if it is indeed time to leave. All the other considerations will have to come later, after you have time to figure out what you want to do. Ending a relationship hurts. Staying with someone who is not good for you, however, can turn out to be much more painful in the long run.

Not all toxic relationships are romantic ones. It isn’t always romantic partners that can cause problems in a person’s life. Some friendships have the potential to cause just as much strife as a romantic relationship, and in some cases more. People put a lot of stock into their close friendships, and that can make it hard to recognize when a friendship has turned toxic. Friendships should not be exhausting. Sadly, there are plenty of people in the world who seek out friends with the expressed intent of taking advantage of them. You want to get to a point where all your friendships are equally give and take. Of course, there will be times in any healthy friendship where one person will need to lean on the other person and vice versa, but the friendship should be equally beneficial to each member.

Is it time to find someone? You might be in the position where you don’t necessarily have a romantic partner, or even a close friend. This works well for some people, but these sorts of people are the minority; the vast majority of people are best suited for having special people in their life. If you do not have someone special in your life, it is time to examine whether this is a conscious choice, or if it is instead time for you to make an effort to find someone. This is not to say that one person needs another to complete them, of course, because there are plenty of folks who are very happy without any sort of romantic involvement whatsoever. The point is that a plan to meet new people needs to be made if you decide that you indeed want someone in your life. Whether you are seeking a romantic interest or instead just want a close friend to have fun with, it takes some effort to meet people.

Having a baby or buying a house does not solve a relationship problem. In some instances, people in bad situations make one last-ditch effort to save the relationship. It’s a completely illogical move to think that a big life change will save an already distraught union, especially when that big change is a stressful one in and of itself. Having a baby is great, and buying a home can be a tremendous experience, but they are also stressful situations to enter into. Rarely does an added dose of stress mend the problems within a relationship. The motive behind some people’s decision to go this route is because the person may feel as if he or she can tie the other person down with some sort of financial or legal commitment so that the other person is less likely to leave, and will instead stay and work through all the problems. In reality, however, the outcome of this sort of situation may be one person leaving regardless, and the other person left with no partner and a mortgage, baby, or both. If you know you are having issues within your relationship with your significant other, you should wait until things are resolved before making any giant steps. There may be a part of you that is convinced that having a baby or buying a house or whatever else you may try will prove your love for your partner, but resist the urge. You do not want to be left with the relationship ending, just as you knew it would, but with more to deal with than when the relationship first began.

Some people need professional help. There is a fine line between being eccentric and being mentally imbalanced. You’ll know that you need to seek out some professional help if you feel as though you cannot contain your emotions, or if you have a burning urge to talk to someone about some things you want to sort through. It is indeed a very small number of people who go to therapists with complaints of hearing voices or seeing hallucinations; most clients of therapists are people who just need a little help sorting through things and enjoy having the undivided attention of a trained professional. There is no shame in seeking out the services of professionals, and you may find that a therapist may help you in ways you couldn’t even imagine. If the idea of going to a licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist makes you nervous, you might consider making an appointment with a pastor or other clergyperson. Most members of the clergy have some sort of counseling certification and experience, and many of them do not charge a fee for their services. Just be sure to check the credentials of a clergyperson prior to baring your soul to him or her. You’ll need to make sure that the person you’re talking to is an ordained clergyperson that is licensed by his or her denomination or church. You certainly don’t want to reveal all your intimate secrets and feelings to some guy who bought his pastor credentials on the Internet for twenty dollars.

Constant giddiness isn’t a realistic goal. There will always be some form of adversity and strife in life, and if your ultimate emotional goal is to get your life together and be absolutely joyful every second of the day, you haven’t set a realistic goal. The only people that are constantly overjoyed and blissful without any regard for life’s ups and downs are people who are simply not in contact with reality. You will not be happy all the time, no matter how many goals you set and how hard you work towards contentment. Accepting this fact makes you an emotionally healthy person, and it’s a big step to take towards getting your emotional life in order.

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